The Warrior Within- WHY AM I WHO AM I?
Author: Mohamed Irfan
Abdul
Disclaimer: This is a work of
fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either
the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely
coincidental.
It was a forest within mountain
and I was dressed in a 12th century black suit like a warrior with a
sword in hand. Blood was oozing out of my nose and above my eye but I was
bravely fighting. The dusk was near about. I saw an enemy barging towards me. I
was ready to take him down. He came close and my leg moved towards him.
Suddenly his mask fell while he swung the sword to kill me. I saw him, his familiar
face, met his eyes while his sword was still in the air flying to split me. I froze
and could not move. The sword reached near my neck. Seeing him was as if I was standing
in front of mirror. An image of myself.
I gasped the air with a sound from the lungs Aaaahhhh! I opened my eyes and broke the dream to find myself lying in the bed sweating profusely. Ah! What a nightmare I thought to myself. I was tired, unwilling to get up, and felt something missing. The images of the dream I saw was disturbing me the entire day and a week.
I am a software engineer working in Coolgle with six figure pay package. I am a only child to my parents who left for me property and bank balance to enjoy upon. I was married to a beautiful lady and a year back we had a son. I had
everything in my life but the heart was not content. The routine life was
frustrating. Getting up, going to office, coming back and sleep. Another day,
getting up, going to office, coming back and sleep. I was in search of
something unknown. My heart spoke to me,
What is this noise and the fuss all
about?
Office, Projects and the status updates
Between, I am caught on the salary baits!
Society, parents, wife and children
Should I follow my passion?
I thought all these feelings are because
of stress and I decided to take a break. A break from routine life, family and
friends would fix and refresh my thoughts. I chose the mountains and the forest
of Nilgiris as my holiday destination. I wandered for days along the nature but
my heart could not find satisfaction until I reached a place, which seemed
familiar. Just then, I was a group of people sitting close together in a circle.
At the center, was a man with
well-built body, pure white beard and a bright face. His eyes was attractive
and a reflection of honesty. He was dressed up in white and was speaking with
calm deep voice. I went near the group and listened to the Sufi saint. The Sufi
saint spoke in poetic words.
Forget the reminisce of hits and miss,
Oasis is illusion, the inward journey
for bliss
My child Come out of regret blues,
See rays of morning bird amuse
Chew-chew cheer-cheer
Tweet-tweet wew-wew
Altruist are the birds benefit from each
other,
Move in the herd and feed one another
The saint shouted
Ask your heart why are you in earth
Why am I, who am I
What is purpose of my life
What are you searching in the woods of Nils
Look at the Heart within, the weeds of
greeds
I came back home with mesmerizing
words still echoing in my heart. The words of Sufi saint had phenomenal impact
on me. I took a pause to absorb the moment and thought to myself that all these
years I was searching for something, which was inside me without use. I became
a wanderer in the pursuit of selfish happiness instead of being a creator of
happiness for others. I was expecting from my family instead of giving them the
cheers. I was expecting from my career instead of giving back to the society.
The real happiness was in giving and sharing.
My heart flung from the prison,
Suddenly bird in me found vision
Wew- Wew Tweet-Tweet
Cheer-Cheer Chew-Chew
The dream came true, the true warrior
inside me killed the selfish me. I killed my regrets; I killed my mistakes and
my past. I got the answer within from my heart why I am and who I am. I found
my purpose of life.
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