Secret of Success - An open letter to my daughter

In the name of Allah, the creator and sustainer of the universe! All praise to Allah alone. Allah alone is worthy of all praises. 

From, 

Mohamed Irfan (F/o Asheena Ishraa) 

Dear Afsheena,

My princess, since your birth you have brought happiness in my life. You are my greatest asset. I thank Allah. This is a special letter to you. The content of this letter if applied in your life will bring happiness in your life. There is no shortcut to success but there is a systematic methodology. Success is a science. Happy life is a process and that process which is diligently followed. It is a science where we experiment, record and repeat for results. The process which monitors, modify, edit and re-install the new version, a better version constantly for a better life. So as to say nothing of previous will work in the future. Can you use the phone which grahambell invented now? Life is changing, world is changing and we as human are constantly changing. So invent and keep inventing. Allah love innovation as Allah is the best innovator. 

Allah created every system in the Universe big or small with a systematic process. We must undergo the process to attain meaningful life. 

While I am writing this open letter, you are a 8-year-old girl. We together are ending the year 2020 and entering into a new year 2021. I am writing with a hope that in future you will grow up and would need this letter as a source of guidance for your life. This piece is for you and I have attempted to summarizes my understanding on life. While I am writing I know this letter would take several years to complete. As you and me are growing this letter will also grow enormously. I did my struggle to know what the richest and most successful people of the world do to be successful and I am at a phase of my life when I am fighting a bitter battle within myself and outside to change my habits. I wished I had the guiding life early or I got more time. Nevertheless I am proud of my life and I am proud that I got you in my journey of life. Whatever may be the circumstances at your times in the world please do remember that Allah is the one who controls the universe. Be hopeful and never be arrogant or proud. We bow down to Allah alone our creator. Allah is the truth. Everything is from Allah and to Allah will eventually return. Having said that I stress that be fearless but within the ambit of Islam. 

 

 

Said Williams Words Worth "Child is the Father of Man". I too resonate the feeling being a father. I say "Daughter is the Teacher of Man". 

Chapter 1 Purpose of Life 

The purpose of life is what drives you internally while fulling the duty towards Allah. The drive from your heart must make your heart energetic. 

Align your heart and ambition as purpose of your life. Success on earth as well as life hereafter is not easy and depends on your choices in your life today. Do not be afraid of difficulty but embrace it. 

I feel that God created Man for a purpose and with certain unique strength. God sent man and women to earth for a reason. I believe that reason is to fullfill the commandment for god and to learn. Like how when you want to teach a machine/robot you need to educate it, man came to earth to educate him/herself. So that we become a worthful creation of the creator. The life on earth doesnt finish and there is much to achieve hereafter and bigger role to play. Therefore, it is our duty to be strong and teach our offspring to be even more stronger while negating the  If during evolution of mankind man chose the laziness and sleep over hunting and striving for the luxury we would not have reached to a place where we are right now. But strive for things in which good is there. 

Read below rhymes. Ironically its so true.. 

Strong Man Creates Good Times

Good Times Create Weak Man,

Weak Man Creates Hard Time,

And Hard Times Create Strong Men

What is to be strong which can help to achieve your pupose of life? 

To be strong means stronger physically, stronger emotionally, stronger finacially, stronger strategically and stronger politically. To a lead a purposefull life you must respect yourself at all circumstances and must not bow down to evil. You must express yourself. You must express your ideas fearlessly, you must express your talents, you must express your skills. And last is you must be self reliant. Never ask anything to anyone except to Allah. Use your skills to earn your living. Contribute to the earning of your husband and never fail to earn for yourself. Give that gift of being strong to yourself. 

Chapter 2 To identify opportunity you need knowledge 

The most valuable asset any father can give to his daughter is KNOWLEDGE. Allah has asked humans in Quran to "Think". By thinking you can recognize the facts, discover the pattern and apply the learning for your benefit. This process is called Knowledge. 

You do not need to re-invent the wheel. That is why people read books from great people. 

That does not mean you are copying. Without duplicating any personality you need to learn to admire talents, learn from them and start doing better than anyone else. 

You need to be actionable. Figure out who is doing better in your circle and 1 or 2 step ahead than you are.  Watch those people in action and specific way they adopt to carryout the task. Learn how they do and then do that better than them. 

We learn in our lifetime on HOW TO DO certain things. But as far is passion and success is concerned you need to find your WHY. Your HOW and WHAT will be like searching in dark without addressing WHY you want to chase.

I too have a life story of building from scratch. That took lot of sweat, tears and persistence. I did not have any guidance as my father who was also my mentor had left this world leaving me and my mother alone early in life. He was 52 and I was just 21. I could see people with advantage racing ahead with speed while I was building my road. This motivated me to write this letter to you and guide you even if I am not there this letter will speak. 

Remember the 2 most valuable actions to be performed in the pursuit of success. 

1. Investing on yourself is the best investment you can ever do. Investing on your health, learning skills and character is the best investment any human can do in the world. The ROI - return on investment will be astonishingly large. 

2. Time is valuable and irreplaceable resource in the world. Spending your time in exchange of something must be always wise. Our life is made of seconds, minutes, hours and ultimately days. Therefore, time is nothing but equal to your own life. How precious is your life to you?

 

Chapter 3 Good health is vital for survival (Mental and Physical)

Always take priority in establishing good health and attractive personality. A good health and personality will help you to inspire others and gain followers.  

Self-care has been proven to boost self-confidence (64%), increase productivity (67%), and bring happiness (71%). It's not just superficial advice; it's essential for our well-being. 

"There are too many things that genuinely matter. And if we had 40 hours in a day, we could still fill that time with things that genuinely mattered…You’re going to have to not do lots of things that do matter in order to make time for the things that you care about the most out of those things.” - Four thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman and Rob Leworthy"

Take your time to do what you love and physically moving. Travel and explore the beautiful earth. You should be ready and committed to invest in yourself. Small and continuous investment on yourself. You have to be ready to spend money in building your skills and career. Not necessarily in degrees and certificates. 

Chamanprash containing immense vitamin C has improved your health when your child from rampant ill health due to tonsillitis. Continue it as your life style. Keep your lungs clean with regular vapour inhalation. Keep your oral healthy with every day salt water gargle. Salt is the best natural source to keep the virus away. Eat right and leave your 1/3 of stomach empty in your custom breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sweat in the gym as you like and make it a life style. These habits will keep the diseases away from you. You will god willing live a healthy life. 

Create a great sleeping routine

Swiss sleep neuroscientist Els van der Helm cites studies indicating that leaders who don’t get enough sleep are less engaged, and employees perceive them as less inspiring. Similarly, research shows that sleep-deprived employees struggle to regulate their emotions and common workplace stressors affect them more heavily.

Diminished work performance, in turn, can exacerbate stress, which further decreases sleep quality, leading to a vicious cycle. Van der Helm argues that the workplace can help stop this downward spiral. Leaders can help by starting an open conversation about sleep and modeling good sleep behavior.

Action Plan

1. Use the best bed with mattress which gives you at most sleep

2. Use the best head rest or pillow 
3. Have definite same time of going to bed in the night and getting up in the morning

4. Take sleep as a cure to your worries, problems and rest to body. Do not take that time for any other activity what-so-ever it might be

Where there is Greed, there is Evil and a great failure. 

While I am writing this section of the letter I am myself struck in a great problem because of greed. Be always suspicious of the people around you and do not trust them blindly. The circumstances of the people change. The people good in the morning will turn bad in evening. 

Remember this rule in your life. Evil is where there is greed. Make your judgement based on Truth vs False in every step of your life. Do thorough research and planning before initiating any of your ideas. 

 

Which side I should stand?

I believe we should stand with eternal truth. You will only be betrayed if you stand with any personalities. Listen to people and people you like but stand with truth ruthlessly and bravely. It takes lot of energy to find what is the truth, braveness to differ and loneliness once you make your stand public however, it is rewarding and that is why truth is bitter but cure like medicine. It will give peace to your soul, confidence to your personality and fearlessness to your character.  

Chapter 4 Imagine a future you. 

Be Yourself! Do not Duplicate personalities!

What do you want to be look like in the future. Just little bit of imagination. What skills do you think you should have in future. What is you future personality? How much you want to earn in future? 

 

The future of you: As you grow and mature, reinvent yourself and keep your skills up to date.

How to Build Visibility?

You need visibility. To show case your talent. The future of work. You need to know how to project yourself in future. Especially you want to claim the ladders of career which is getting extremely competitive. 

Ask who is your target? Whose recognition you are looking for? -- Boss, higher ups, colleagues, public, online audience, offline audience?

Internal Visibility

You need a platform to build your visibility. - Internal visibility in your place of work 

• Post on message boards/internal online platform - Ask will your target audience see your message - Post in more than one place. Is it good use of time? 
• Speak at events - When you speak then you are seen as a leader. People will see you as authority. You will get more opportunities. There is always a need for presenters. Volunteers to talk in your team events. Be prepared to suggest a topic. You will be on spot light. All you need to do is just talk. Genuine and real stories which connect with people. Make note of your most valuable personal experiences. 

- Participate in activities

There are more than one way to catch a fish

Figure out who is doing better in your circle?- What they are doing which is you do better than them.

External visibility 

• Giving a speech  - Demonstrate the leadership in industry forum. People will admire you because public speaking is tough. 
• Giving a compelling message will help you build the visibility 
• Low cost of visibility externally - Social media 
• Video blogs - Consumes lot of time-- Time is limited -- ROI -return on investment. 
• Podcast
• Blog - Leaders share the stories. Share your stories. Genuine and real stories which connect with people. Make note of your most valuable personal experiences. 

Share your expertise with your current boss and team. Keep experiment what works. It is about the value you bring to the team. It is an investment. 

Don't waste your time which do not work. Keep improving what works. 

Dear Afsheen, there is no point of competing if you are not giving your best. The best way to get that focus is by discipline. Discipline of eating, discipline of sleeping, discipline of exercising and discipline to execute your plans. 

 

What is soul?

The soul is the combination of your senses and the subconscious vital functions. The soul means "self". Nafs in arabic or athma in sanskrit means ultimately self. Your personality is your soul. The sesnses that is your conscious mind by coming in harmony with your subconsious mind attain the power to do the imposible. 

Your conscious mind is like monkeys who try to get attracted to whatever it sees, hear, touched, smell or taste. It is a great distraction for success. To control the senses and discipline it you need to master the art of coming in harmony with your subconsious mind. The senses can be controlled only by its master. The master is subconsciuos mind. You can control the sunconscious mind by suggesting good and lovely things. whatever you need you suggest to consious mind. Then the conscious mind will conspire to make it happen. 

How to control the subconscious mind?

"Be water my friend philosophy"

Conquer the Morning Conquer the World

There are 4 morning routines which can give you success. When I say Success it means happiness. Yes getting up early in the morning is connected to happiness. There will be times when you will depressed and disappointed. Believe me this is a teenage problem and I have gone through the same. The GPSR which I am going to share is most power tool to position yourself for life. Let's see what is the Global positioning system. 

G - Get up early in the morning. The one who win the morning has won the day. Be the first to raise in the morning and you will realize you have already won the half battle 

P - Pray to almighty and thank his bountiness. Imagine what if the God himself stand for you in your struggle, in your strive to success. Then wo can stop you.

S- Sweat it out by running, excercise and jumping. Being physically active you not only remove toxicity from the body but also from your brain. Excercising is important for your brain health. And who wouldn't like to look beautiful and fit. 

R - Read! Read good things. The very first word revealed in Quran to our prophet was Iqra which means Read. It was repeated 3 times by angel Gabriel. The very foundation of humanism is the ability to learn and adapt. When Allah made the first human Adam he taught him names of various things in Universe. Once Adam learned his position among the other creation was elivated. So learning is that important to elivate your own life. 

 

The effect of compounding 

There was a little boy who one day saw a newborn calf. He carried the calf in his shoulder to his home played with it and leave for gracing again. This became every day normal that he would carry the calf in his shoulder till his home. As he grew so the calf and this continued till he was a young man. The calf was now become a  bull of several 100 kgs. He was the only one entire Italy who can lift a bull. He became so strong that any wrestling tournament his opponent would not have any chance. 

With this story I would want to tell you the importance of compounding of good habits and uselful skills. Small incremental addition of that small skill or habit will make you the master and expert.

E.g., if you need to build reading habit the. Start with a paragraph and be consistent. After fee days challenge yourself with small increment of number of paragraph. Soon you will find yourself reading many books in short time. 

The "small" is very powerful. Powerful like the atom bomb. A small addition or deletion everyday can make such a great impact that it can change the course of life, bring climatic change, topple the govt or bring someone into power. 

 

Be tough mentally in adversity and soft at heart while you give to poor. 

 

Chapter 5 DO NOT REPEAT FAILURES. REPEATING MAKES IT BECOMES A HABIT. 

E.g., You miss a day of exercise and next day if your repeat the miss sooner you will end up not doing any sort of exercise and spoiling your health. 

REVERSE YOUR FAILURE BY REPEATING SUCCESS BY KEEPING DOING WHAT YOU MUST

Book recommendation

Atomic habits - James Clear

Compound effect

Planning your success is greatly important to achieve in reality. Planning is nothing but prioritizing what is important. 

 

BE SHAMELESS TO LEARN - Yes, if you are trying novelty and a new way of doing something then become shameless for insult from the world. Learn from anyone past or present. Keep in your head, your ultimate goal. E.g., the business community of Gujrat (Banyas) they never do jobs. They do business, and are shameless to fail, get scolding and insulted. Their aim is make profit in the business. In your business (or job) be shameless to make it a success. The human emotions at core is all same. Like we want better social status, more money, big house, good cloths, better children, saved money/assets for progeny etc etc. So if everyone wants the same thing then for what are we are ashamed of. We must know the methods of achieving what we want. 

Word of Caution: Keep your ego intact when it comes to your character, honesty and Islam. Give it back strongly. 

 

Start with identifying the clutter of life- 

To keep what is essential and eliminate what is not required. This is not to have minimalized life but the key is to get rid of what is your energy waster and unproductive part of life. Here the intention is to keep what is natural (energy generator) and adds value and meaning to your everyday life. 

The analysis can be done by consciously observing yourself and your day. What is your natural liking and what is not. Essentially not all your liking is going to be productive to you. You should be smart to identify what you want to keep and what you want to sacrifice. 

Leaning your habits and carefully crafting your surrounding with what you need is going to be a great way to be faster and productive. 

Walk 12000 steps per day!

Walk for at-least 7500 steps and maximum to 12000 steps per day to reap the benefit of having good body shape (increased metabolism), good mental health, improved memory, good cardiovascular system, improved cognitive performance and will increase your length of life. 

Your pace of walking does not matter. Set small goals like walking 3-5 minutes with your comfortable pace and step it up to a brisk walk as you feel stronger. Then add more distance to your walk as your stamina increases. 

https://www.candourthoughts.in/2021/10/tips-to-de-toxify-your-brain.html

 

 

 

Dear Afsheen I observe that you are very creative person. You write songs, stories and your command over English is very good. I wish I was so talented like you. Keep going and use your treasure. 

 

 

 

Chapter 6 The Psychology of managing money

Having money can be concerning but it is not the ultimate however it is definitely essential for happiness. 

See money as a tool for the achieving the purpose of life and therefore it is essential to manage money smartly and wisely. 

Understand the concepts of compounding and learn how investment works. As your father I have done farely well in growing the money which we had at the beginning when I married your mother. I can say we had very limited and then from there on its history. Alllah has been kind and mericiful to allow us to do it. But it was not without challenges. There were many losses in the path. I was cheated, denied and the path I was walking was sometime black out. But persistence was the key. Believing in yourself is the key. 

Chapter 7: Communicating with Impact 

 

I feel that communication is the single most powerful skills which can take you to heights in your personal and professional life.

Story telling Methodology

Person in the hole method compelling case –

Ask who is your audience (know it), structuring what you want to say in a way that compels (more stucture the story), Boosters (small tweaks with big impact), Calling other party to action. 

Tailored story –

Practice the story- story influence people at emotional level. Story is memorable. come up with a story to deliver the message. 

Figure and the background, different situation, -- give imaginery to the story -- come with an imagination.

 
Give example of people who liked these ideas like e.g., star reviews of hotels, stories of travels of a place which can compel, or the celebrities endorsing some brands can be used to compel the case. 

Feature and Benefit _ find a overlap of the situation of features and benefits and then build your story around it. 

Bait and rescue Method- 

start the story with disaster and then go with what is the story of how we can solve. 

 

Risk zap Method – 

Barnum effect - whenever we are making compeling case, show them the extra effect taken like all risk are taken care, show them that how we can overcome the risk , show what are the potential risk and pitfalls, show them your research, 

 

Boosters which can be used are - Commitment to consistency, sarcity (last one left, limited offer). perceptual constrast (favorable light)

Action - Tell your audience what action they should take after your pitch.

Chapter 8: Sales and Demand

Look for Sales and demand in life. Develop a skill which is rare and has demand. To find and be into the constant demand, you must research, research and research. To use the opportunity you must be aware and conscious.